Never, Ever, Ever...?

"You take me for granted. You don't truly appreciate me for myself. You only want me to fill the emptiness of your hollow core," the peanut butter said to the chocolate shell.

inspired by codependent couplings                     

Gift Box

Here is a treasured treat for the palate--the chocolatier, or a bakery.

inspired by Dr. Ben Carson

Pleasure Principle

A little bad chocolate is like a nice dish of sour grapes.

inspired by Dorothy Parker

Holiday Mob

Grandma got run over by chocoholics,
Running toward the flash sale five-pound tins.
You can say there's no such thing as chocolate addiction,
But as for the clerks and witnesses, they believe.

inspired by Randy Brooks

Just Desserts

Those who would give up a little luxe chocolate to purchase a lot of mediocre chocolate, deserve neither luxury nor favor.

inspired by Benjamin Franklin

Consequences

There is no luxe chocolate that does not contribute to cellulite.

inspired by Dorothy West

Easy

All I want for Christmas is a two-pound box (of truffles).

inspired by Don Gardner

Holiday Confessions

Dear Santa,
     Yes, I've been naughty, but being nice is at near the top of on my list of New Year's resolutions.
     So please bring assorted chocolate truffles and a milk chocolate variety ballotin as an incentive and a sign of good faith in my good intentions.

Fly safely,
Choco Phil

If Only In My Dreams

I'll have Ho Hos for Christmas
You can not stop me
Please have snowy white fi-ill-ing
And choc-o-late coating

Rich tender cake will fill me
What my stomach craves
I'll have Ho Hos for Christmas
For years and years to come

inspired by Kim Gannon, Walter Kent & Buck Ram with a nod to
the musical stylings of Bing Crosby & other talented crooners

Budget Deal

I'll gladly pay you next billing cycle for a one-pound box of chocolates today.

inspired by J. Wellington Wimpy

Heaven and Hell

To hoard chocolate is human; to share chocolate is unlikely.

inspired by Alexander Pope

Defiance

The quantity and frequency of my chocolate consumption won't be dictated by nutritionists and physicians.

inspired by Romney pollster Neil Newhouse

Gobble Gobble Consequences

Gluttony’s mate, flab.

inspired by Virgil

Insatiable Appetite

But hunger of chocolate, like thirst of riches, increases ever with the acquisition of it.

inspired by Laurence Stern

Reality Bites

It's not the cocoa that adds the weight; it's the quantity of other ingredients added (and consumed) to make it chocolate.

inspired by Lena Horne

Diversification

If you have two loaves of bread, sell one and buy chocolate.

inspired by Persian, Chinese or Greek misc. saying

Carpe Diem

Let us eat then and be glad while chocolate is before us.

inspired by an anonymous Latin saying

Picking Order

Between two chocolates, I always pick the one I never tried before first.

inspired by Mae West

Restraint

Of all plagues chocoholics bear, strict diets are the worst.

inspired by William Walsh

Thick Shell

Chocolate digests easier than criticism.

inspired by Zeuxis

Hindsight

If I'd known I was going to live this long, I'd have eaten more chocolate.

inspired by Eubie Blake

Intention

I don't aspire to be an expert nutritionist. I don't see myself in any way a health guru. I love chocolate. I'm not particularly fond of its substitutions.

inspired by 66th U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice

Ode to Chocolate

Oh, Choc-o-late.
Oh, Choc-o-late.

To taste, taste, taste you
Is to love, love, love you
And I do. Yes, I do.

inspired by Ritchie Valens and Bobby Vinton

Chocoholic's Fantasy

Had I a hundred tongues, a hundred mouths, cast-iron stomach and rock hard abs, I could not sample all the forms of chocolate, could not name all the types of ecstasy.

inspired by Virgil

Ecstasy

If I feel physically as if the top of my head were floating high, I know that is luxe chocolate.

inspired by Emily Dickinson

Hauling Capacity

"You're gonna need a bigger bag," the clerk said to the customer stuffing 50% off holiday boxes of luxe chocolate into her reusable tote.

inspired by Jaws (with props to Roy Scheider for his deadpan delivery)

Reasons to Love

How is chocolate loved? Let us count the ways:
In drops, in morsels, in squares, in spheres, in bars.
Liberated from wrappers, bags, tins, and boxes.
In cookies, pies, and cakes; as, atop, within, around, and throughout everything for breakfast, lunch, sneak snack, dinner, and dessert.

inspired by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Is Virtue Overrated?

Moderation is a virtue, happily discarded upon entering into the presence of a gifted chocolatier.

inspired by an ancient Proverb

Friendship Test

Lots of people want to dine with you in the exclusive confectionery, but what you need is someone who will bake at home with you when your bank balance is zero.

inspired by Oprah Winfrey

Real Love

Love means never having to share your chocolate, but wanting to share it anyway.

inspired by Erich Segal (with a nod to Ali MacGraw's delivery)

Plan Ahead

A chocoholic must have money and cool, secure storage if one is to hoard luxe chocolate.

inspired by Virginia Woolf

Another Simple Pleasure

A hug is like good chocolate--it instantly gratifies.

inspired by Bil Keane

Stating the Obvious #3

How do you eat a box of luxe chocolates?
One indulgent bite at a time

inspired by an ancient saying

Bitterness

Who put mud in your chocolate?

inspired by enthusiastically mean-spirited people

Degrees of Satisfaction

Chocolate is like gold. Most people can buy at least some 10-karat or 14-karat to satisfy themselves, though it may not impress the neighbors as much as pure luxe quality would.

inspired by Zora Neale Hurston

More Is Better

Confections can never be too rich or too chocolaty.

inspired by Wallis Simpson

Recurring Dream

I have snuck into my chocolatier's kitchen and licked out all the bowls. Then I have stood in the stocked pantry astonished by its bountiful selections with ingredients for chocolates overflowing my hands.

inspired by Zora Neale Hurston

Popular Science

A chocolate a day adds I.Q. points, they say.

inspired by results from a recent Canadian research study

Clean Your Palate

Chocolate makes your taste buds wake up and pay attention.

inspired by Zora Neale Hurston

Best of Both Worlds

One can't eat a filled chocolate truffle from the inside out. One must first crack it from the outside in order to access its hidden core of flavor power. The perfect balance of shell and center dissolve on the tongue into an integrated blend that satisfies.

inspired by Pres. Barack Obama

Know Your Audience

47% of the people will consume any kind of chocolate given to them. Those people do not concern ambitious chocolatiers who cater to elite connoisseurs. These elites educate their palates to build a wealth of culinary tastes. They have earned their epicurean status.

inspired by Mitt Romney

Relativity

When chocolate is good, it's very, very good, but when it's luxe, it's the best.

inspired by Mae West

Costs Benefits Ratio

An ounce of chocolate is worth pounding the treadmill.

inspired by Mae West

False Advertising

You can lead a chocoholic to the carob aisle, but you can't make her buy.

inspired by an old English idiom

Inspired Results

Luxe chocolate is the product of chocolatiers' capacity to create.

inspired by Ayn Rand

Actions Reveal the Truth

The last piece of luxe chocolate freely given says "I love you."

inspired by Frank Sinatra

Investment Pieces

A square of luxe chocolate on the tongue is worth more than two bars of average chocolate on sale at the store.

inspired by an old idiom

Guilt-free

Chocolate is the only thing, that when I eat it, I don't feel that I should be eating anything else.

inspired by Gloria Steinem

Bites That Satisfy In More Ways Than One

I have found that among its other benefits, eating chocolate rewards the palate.

inspired by Dr. Maya Angelou

What Class War?

If people have no money for gas, let them stay home and eat chocolates.

inspired by Marie Antoinette

Sweet Addiction

You crave 100% of the chocolate you can't eat.

inspired by Wayne Gretzky